The Decision is Made….

Much to my chagrin and with great sadness, I have had to make the decision not to participate in this year’s “Tennessee Trek” aka Vol State.  I know that everyone who has participated and who knows me will simply think that I am weak and unable to handle pain. I sincerely hope that isn’t totally true as evidenced by my completing half of last year’s event with stress fractures on both feet yet still finishing. I would take that pain over this any day.

I had determined that I would use last weekend’s 3 days of marathons to make that decision. While I feel that my lower extremities could actually handle the 314 miles even though I haven’t trained at all, my nerve pain (postherpetic neuralgia – Google it if you think I’m being a sissy) got the best of me on both days after 5 miles. It became totally intolerable by the 13th mile of day 2. I had managed to walk 17 1/2 miles on Day 1 and really only stopped because I thought that would be best for my legs. But the second day I just could not go on. I wanted to cry so many times. I know people have much worse pain but this has taken me down.

So, after I came home (actually on the way home) I realized that in another month the probability of this going away was probably miniscule. So, today I wrote to Mr. Cantrell, the race director, and told him that I wouldn’t be able to participate. It pains me terribly and I am pretty depressed at having to make that decision. It just downright sucks.

I miss challenging myself,  I miss the wonderful people I meet and most of all, I miss the time with myself when I’m out on the road.

I do believe the universe is sending me a message through my body since I’ve been essentially out of the running business since the end of last year’s Vol State. But no matter how much I examine this I cannot “hear” the message. I hope I do get it soon.

But for now, I’m very, very sad.


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2 thoughts on “The Decision is Made….

  1. Do not be sad, for you are correct, and your body IS sending you the message that you hoped to get. The key triggers for shingles, and subsequent PHN, are continued stress and/or a diminished body resistance. In your case, you have both. As you have recognized, but cannot bear, your continued participation in this physically and psychologically challenging competition is most likely the cause of your initial outbreak, and the more you continue to struggle with maintaining your previous level of competition, but are unable to, the more stress you will encounter, and there is imminent danger that you may wind up with a worse case than you already have, and recovery is not the typical course of this disease. You’ve already make your first correct decision. Please listen to your body, and seek qualified help.

    • Thanks Max,
      you are right. But there’s much more stress than just the running. that helps me relieve the stress but i am trying to listen to what my body is telling me.
      And your advice is great – i am definitely under the care of a pain management doc and my PCM too so I am doing what they tell me and listening to them. this condition is enough to get anyone’s attention!
      thanks for posting!