Much to my chagrin and with great sadness, I have had to make the decision not to participate in this year’s “Tennessee Trek” aka Vol State. I know that everyone who has participated and who knows me will simply think that I am weak and unable to handle pain. I sincerely hope that isn’t totally true as evidenced by my completing half of last year’s event with stress fractures on both feet yet still finishing. I would take that pain over this any day.
I had determined that I would use last weekend’s 3 days of marathons to make that decision. While I feel that my lower extremities could actually handle the 314 miles even though I haven’t trained at all, my nerve pain (postherpetic neuralgia – Google it if you think I’m being a sissy) got the best of me on both days after 5 miles. It became totally intolerable by the 13th mile of day 2. I had managed to walk 17 1/2 miles on Day 1 and really only stopped because I thought that would be best for my legs. But the second day I just could not go on. I wanted to cry so many times. I know people have much worse pain but this has taken me down.
So, after I came home (actually on the way home) I realized that in another month the probability of this going away was probably miniscule. So, today I wrote to Mr. Cantrell, the race director, and told him that I wouldn’t be able to participate. It pains me terribly and I am pretty depressed at having to make that decision. It just downright sucks.
I miss challenging myself, I miss the wonderful people I meet and most of all, I miss the time with myself when I’m out on the road.
I do believe the universe is sending me a message through my body since I’ve been essentially out of the running business since the end of last year’s Vol State. But no matter how much I examine this I cannot “hear” the message. I hope I do get it soon.
But for now, I’m very, very sad.